Happy Throwback Thursday! It has been a busy week and I’m sure the coming weeks will be busier still! My time for writing and posting is alas short, but hopefully I’ll find some moments to be creative 🙂
Today’s throwback poem is from March, about the physical effects of the chronic malady that is lovesickness…
Why treat me like some toy to play with when you’re bored,
Just to shut me in your toy box, abandoned and ignored?
No sparing any second thoughts, never your priority,
And when I knocked upon the walls you turned your key on me.
Maybe it was clingy to hang on you like that,
But you wouldn’t say a word when all I wanted was to chat,
Now we’re at the point where not a single word remains,
And I’m left feeling like my punctured heart is wrapped in chains,
Nursing open wounds, and choking back the grief;
Whilst I guess for you the break-up has just come as a relief.
When once upon a time, I lived in a blind bliss,
You were the only one I thought of and only one I missed,
I have to say I always thought that you cared more than this,
Now I have to face the fact we’ve long had our last kiss,
All the places where you held me were tainted with a mark,
And simply sliced me open when you left me in the dark,
Bleeding tears of mis’ry every night and every day,
Pleading, “Let me in again, there has to be a way”,
Endless hurt and heartache ‘cause I’ll never see your face;
Does it hurt you too or do you revel in your space?
I accept that it is hard to keep things going when apart,
As oceans rolled between us I still dived in with all my heart,
But I guess the distance ‘twixt us really was too big to cross,
And even when I’m closer I’ll still have to rue my loss,
I mean I gave you every reason to just give things a try,
You regret the things you don’t do so much more, and that’s no lie;
It seems that on this subject we do not see eye to eye,
You broke my gaze and broke my heart and now I’m left to cry,
Falling down upon the ground with no one there to catch me;
After time will you regret or are you happy that you’ve lost me?
After how you treated me I know I should feel sick
Of your rollercoaster rides, and roundabouts, and tricks,
You played with my heart like a boomerang you threw,
Knowing if you just ignored me that I’d come back to you,
Couldn’t make a decision; a choice was such a chore,
Tactless, rude and ignorant: a coward to the core,
Still yet to tell me why you suddenly changed your mind,
Still haven’t explained yourself, nor apologised, you’ll find.
So perhaps, to be rid of you I really should be glad,
But alas, I really fell for you, so all I feel is sad.
Because I just can’t shut out the memories I keep,
Bittersweet to think of but the feelings still run deep,
Of smiling and of laughing and of sharing all our thoughts,
(And although they were senseless, they were silly fun of course),
Of play-fighting and moments when I stared into your eyes –
Moments of perfect happiness to counteract the lies,
What I wouldn’t give to see your eyes and smile again,
But when I realise that I won’t, it only brings me pain,
Way back in those days, you were my comfort and my lover,
Until you turned your back on me and told me that it’s over.
Maybe it would hurt less if you only said you’re sorry,
Maybe this is for the best and I really shouldn’t worry,
Maybe you were right that the cycle would continue,
Or, maybe we could work it out if you had the heart in you.
Every day it crawls by like a nightmare on repeat,
Every thought revolves ‘round you whilst walking down the street,
I wish that I could make you see how young love has turned sour,
And I’d make you talk to me again if I only had the power.
You said it’s best to break for good; there’s nothing I can do,
But if you ever truly cared for me, know I’ll always care for you.
Emma H, age 21, 19/07/2012
We were bound together
Lassoed by fate
Hearts and lives intertwined
We were so tightly knotted
I thought that naught
Would un-tie us
But knife in hand
It was all too easy for you
To sever the cord.
Emma H, age 26, 25/10/2016
Is it worse the hurt of feeling neglected,
Or the pain of being twice rejected?
The crippling blow when you’re not selected
As if your very heart’s infected.
A bittersweet memory invasion
Interrupts my day-to-day equation,
One year since can drag you down low,
A bombardment of brain bullets show
A world you’ve lost but sorely crave.
Would move on; but you’re not that brave.
In comparison to your current life
Emotional contrasts bring only strife
And misery and longing and stinging tears,
An inner screaming that nobody hears
For a love that’s past but evermore strong,
And a wish that this won’t last too long.
Emma H, age 22, 05/11/2013
On a bed of grass
Cradled by the sun
And heads in the clouds
As my trapped innocence
Knocked on the walls
In your eyes
Above the sheets
Fighting unspoken desire
To get between them
But I could feel
With nervous energy
And electric anticipation
Until with your lips
The virgin vampiress
Her hot-blooded passion
Surging through veins
Beneath the covers
Lulled by soft melodies
Embracing new intimacy
Emma H, age 26, 07/09/2017
This poem is linked to one of my previous poems, bringing back the persona of the Vampiress. The title also pays homage to the fantastic Muse song, “Bliss”.
Our hearts are born
With strings attached
Hung like marionettes
To be manipulated
Strung like harps
To be played.
By unrehearsed fingers
Our tunes are discordant
Clashing sharps and flats
Strings bent and
Or else we dance
To the dizzying tunes
And forget to sing
Our own song.
When hearts duet
And end abruptly
Lamenting and woeful.
But in heartfelt harmony
Are composed symphonies
And lilting legatos
Accompanying our lives
Our cherished aged strings
And our fading tunes
Emma H, age 26, 01/09/2017
I throw in this cauldron a blossom white,
A verse of love song beautiful to hear,
Then add some sparking stars that throng the night,
And take the presence felt when love is near.
Include a garland of roses so sweet,
A dash of Summer sunshine in a room,
The spellbound silence when two lovers meet,
The Springtime joy cutting through Winter gloom.
I call the heavens list’ning to my spell,
Let Cupid’s arrow land into my pot,
Venus dance around in your magic dell,
Then light the fire, stir my mixture hot.
When all is done my potion you will sip,
And feel his kisses touch upon your lip.
Emma H, age 14, date unknown
I wrote this Shakespearean sonnet 12 years ago for a class in school, with the theme of a love spell/potion. It was then submitted to and published in a schools’ poetry anthology.
I’m proud of this sonnet, and if I were to write another now I don’t think it would be half as good!