First Heartbreak

There is a point of entry, punctured by words like knives,

And in comes the coldness, icy tendrils round the heart,

It spreads as your blood freezes; each limb becoming numb,

And all because you simply said “It’s best if we’re apart”.

 

At first there is denial, you stop still in disbelief,

‘Til the first cold tear comes creeping, and rolls down your cheek,

And then it’s like a tidal wave, a flash flood of despair,

Which threatens to overwhelm you so that you cannot speak.

 

It came with no apology for to soften the blow,

Instead it is a sucker punch, creasing you with pain,

Your chest, it feels empty, your heart plucked from within,

And you start to doubt that you’ll ever feel right again.

 

Every part of you is heavy, weighed down by grief,

Emotionally you’re in tatters, stir-crazy, torn up,

Sometimes you just sit trembling, like a puppy in fear,

And you search your mind for a way out, so that it will stop.

 

They say that it will heal; you just have to give it time,

But time is just no good when you want instant relief,

They say that it will end, that this aching it will pass,

But doubt will kick you down so that you’re trapped in disbelief.

 

Brave face, wide smile, head held high in public,

The weakness saved for private, where gushing tears they fall,

Eyes shut, fists clenched to knock the pain away,

Wanting to just bang your hurting head against the wall.

 

You are just a prisoner of your own dark emotions,

All-consuming, wracking sobs they take a hold to choke you,

Begging: “Let it end, or just let him come back…”

But thus the tale of heartbreak: there’s nothing you can do.

 

Emma H, age 21, 19/07/12


 

I wrote this poem 5 years ago to the day, not long after my first “break-up”, when I desperately needed an outlet for my emotions. It was the first time I had written any poetry since my mid-teens.  I have been told that this poem is difficult to read, as it is both very personal and painful, but I’ve no doubt that many other people could relate to the hurt and heartbreak depicted.

 

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